I had the opportunity to talk about dating and potential wives with my son and a man I consider a real good friend last week.  In preparation to talk with them I determined a list of qualities to look for in a potential wife.  We agreed this is a pretty good list of qualities a man should look for in a potential wife.

I believe if the girl you are dating and intend to marry encompasses these qualities, then you are on the right track.

1.  She shares your beliefs

She should understand the Biblical role of a husband and a wife and be willing to fulfill.

Your potential wife should have the same beliefs you have. Now, you may think you can do some missionary dating, and turn that situation around so she will believe everything you do.  You’re probably going to be very disappointed with some bad side effects.  You need to understand your core beliefs first, then be sure she shares them with you.  If you don’t have the same core beliefs….you will be unequally yoked – not a good scenario for either person.

2.  She loves you unconditionally

If she’s trying to change you to be another person, it’s time to move on. Your future wife should love you just as you are. There are certain core characteristics that must be avoided, and you should identify those before you become too involved in a relationship.

3.  She is trustworthy

Can you trust her with her time, money, secrets, and most importantly – your heart.

If you have trust issues in your relationship then I feel you are not ready to move forward with any commitment.  Trust can be destroyed and built back, but you both should be in agreement with how trustworthy you feel with each other.  Also, once trust has been broken it takes a long time to restore.  You may trust each other, but in the back of the mind the offense will linger.

4.  She has ambition

Does she set goals?  Does she work hard?

She should have strength in character and carry herself with confidence. She should be a hard worker just like you. That doesn’t mean having a job is a requirement. I know women who are a stay-at-home wife with kids, and they work just as hard as some people with careers.

5.  She is selfless

She should have a servant heart and giving of her time, talents and treasures

She should care about others. Look at the way she treats her family and her friends. If she’s not close with her family, and doesn’t have any good friends, that’s not a good sign. Watch how they treat a waiter/waitress – that tells you a lot about how somebody treats people down deep in their heart.  Does she care about causes? Does she volunteer? Does she give change to the needy or buy them a meal? These are important characteristics to consider.

6.  She is attractive

In your eyes, she should be downright attractive – I mean put together!   Personality plays into attractiveness as well. Just remember, “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting.”  She should be beautiful down to her soul because that kind of beauty lasts forever.  Physical beauty will change with time.

7.  She is wise

Wisdom means to have good knowledge, and then to know what to do with it.

She should be wise, smart, and give you good advice. Her woman’s intuition should be strong. I look to my wife all the time for advice. She is financially smarter than me, and helps guide me where I am weak.

8.  She makes you a better man

Your potential wife should elevate you to new heights. She should inspire you to make yourself better so you can serve her.  You can get a good idea from your friends and family. What do they say about you when you are around her?

9.  She is modest

She should be modest in her dress, conduct and words.  I don’t want my wife advertising what others can’t buy.  It is good for a woman to believe her private body parts are to be seen only by her husband.

10.  She gets along with your family and friends

She shouldn’t be critical of the people who you love and have been trusted by you.  She should be a good fit with the people in your life, and approved by your family – mostly your mom and dad.  Marriage is a joining of two totally different lives that existed prior to your meeting, but will become one after you two join them.

Reference:

Joshua 24:15

Proverbs 12:4

Proverbs 31

Ephesians 5:22-28

 

I would be interested in hearing if you agree or have different ideas.  Shoot them to me if you please to john@johndgrigsby.com.